Anglo-Europeans have been putting this goop on everything from iceberg lettuce, to pizza, to the internet, for as long as Scotsmen have prodded sheep with sticks. Time for a coup. Please don't eat ranch dressing. Let's let this creamy catastrophy die. Let the edges of the bottle opening become crusty, and let's move on to something promising!
Recommended alternative: Mayonnaise! Real Aryans do mayonnaise.